talk about an inconsistent bitch!

sorry i've M.I.A but i havent had internets til recently.
 news-
i'm now living in the basement of a childless couple in their 40's so..fun...
i managed to get at 171

 and yeah i hope you guys are doing good and i'm off too bed

167 is weightloss

so yeah... tomorrowis 500 cals

Never have I ever.....

..been normal
   My current obsession is being regular. Watching all the girls how they dress what they do and how they act and how they do their make up. So i do the same and become them. My room-mate Lee and bf josh spend every hour together. There's a boy in my apartment building who looks interesting. He's always swimming. Whether its hot or freezing he still goes out to the pool to swim. When I reach 125 ill try and get his attention. Until then I'm too fat. French class makes me hunrgy. Tu as faime? oui j'ai faime! Qu'est que tu veux? Je voudrais un steak-frites et un soda, s'ill tu plait. So today it was eat normal, binge, puke,  binge, and regret.

Here is the meal plan for 2morrow
protein shake- 190
apple - 90
jello- 10
cottage cheese and banana - 163
at least - 10 cups of water
 total= 458 cals
 still under 500
     lately i've developed this game where you take a random word you see and make something negative ou tof it for example-  I see butterfly I think of butter and how fat i am.

   I need to find punishment for my self.

Well bye...
.

Your fat ugly face....

     Months had gone by and we had spent so much time together. we "ate" together and unknowingly, you fed my disease. You were so busy with your habits you didn't see mine. 


                                                     a few weeks earlier.....
    I walked out from my class. My eyes searched for you in the oceans student pouring out of their classes like water out of a faucet. I fallowed the current of students to our usual spot already pulling out your lunch. I sat next to you all i had was my drink, a simple can of diet coke. " that all you having'?" you said in you high pitched too loud voice. " yeah, not too hungry.."
      "you got some sort of eating disorder?'
No, but you do I saw... You have binge eating disorder. A pack of Oreo cakesters, a sandwich, a snickers bar, a bag of chips and a soda. You ate the whole feast in under 15 min. Every day you stuff yourself  with tons of food. 
    So the day i decide i'd rather spend the day with a boy. You go and tell everyone I'm vomiting and I don't eat at all. 







     last time I'm nice to you. I denied every thing and I said that compared to how she eats how i eat is a little.
   that just a pic I found on google.

If you read this post and comment you get super powers

* disclaimer you probably wont get super powers


Don't you just love it when you start a new diet and you GAIN weight!
current weight: 169.5
short term goal weight : 150
long term goal weight: 95
           FOOD
special k protein shake- 190
granola bar- 150
burrito- 535
popcorn- 113
coke - 65
piece of candy - 32
total- 1082
can you tell which part wasn't planned?

That's right the burrito!
oh well better than a binge

If I get to 130 by Halloween I can go to my friends Halloween party.

Tomorrow will be a rather unstable day but for the most part i'm hoping to do

today I over ate but it's okay because it wasn't a binge. I I'm trying to not be so hard on myself.

since i didn't get comments last time there's no replies :(

love you guys!

Why i hate my friends sometime(hooray more thinspo)

     I'm a generally nice and likable person. So i have quite a few friends. I'm not ms. popularity but there's  never been a class where i didn't know at least one person. There's this girl I m my class who is sporty, pretty, tall, and THIN. She also happens to be my friend AND REALLY NICE. I hate her, shes too "what is wish I was".  When I'm next to her I'm this unattractive, fat, 5'5 ball of ugliness.Then there's this other girl in one of my other classes. She's thin and  gorgeous as well. Not to mention the other 5 million girls on campus better than me.
      I hate my self for gaining and being at 170. I hate myself for having a binge. I want to go up to those girls and ask them how the fuck they do IT. They'd think I'm a creep. The only reason I binged was because my stomach started bugging me and friend was there so we ate and now I want to kill my self....
     I always mess up always I'm a failure.... and ugly fat stupid failure I deserve the shit that happens to me.



you guys are awesome
to Gracereturnsslowly : I have more swim suit pics right here lol
to missinsanity. : Thanks haha now all my worries are gone lol


love you all! 
ps email me or just chat -    just 01ofthosedays@hotmail.com

In case anyone still reads my blog...

Binges suck.

The good thing is I know what I did wrong.

I went too long without food. I now know that if I go too long without eating i get them heartburn pains.

So for tomorrow:

breakfast-

Greek yogurt.......170

small apple.......95

green tea.........32

lunch-

granola bar.........150

water......0

Dinner-

egg roll .....190

soda....100

snack-

4 pieces of gum...20

total 757

I don't have to go too long with food and hopefully I avoid a binge.

I cried this binge because I felt so hopeless and so useless.

Today I heard some guys at the campus cafe talking about their "dream girl".

so the guy looked a bit older a senior or junior. he was still really hot. he starts saying that he likes a littler girl.

I don't know if he meant you, thin, or short. Then he said he wanted the girl to be smaller than him. That's not me... I'm going to be lonely and fat forever...

love you guys i hope you reach your goals.

haha oh black swimsuits
ps. how is it that theres 2 comments and blogger only marks one view count?

Funzies is a real word.....according to me

yesterday I went ahead and binged on barbecue chips and a bunch of other crap.

I don't know whats wrong with my stomach but it's been heartburn-y. Yeah, it kinda bugs me.

In other news I've started my period! Hooray! oh I just love going to bed late because of cramps and waking up early because of cramps! For some unknown bitch reason my period sucks even more this time, these cramps are really bad.

Just for funzies I'm gonna make my calorie goal 800 just to ease into this. Its way to early to leave for school. So I'm going to weigh myself right now.

cw=168lbs

sgw= 160lbs

ugw= 90lbs

height = 5'5 ft

so.. not the weight i wanted but its better than nothing! wait... that's not better than nothing!! lol that doesn't even make sense oh well i'm gonna go shower and get ready for school. I'll see later.. maybe, if I have the time and energy.

good bye my dears and have wonderful day I hope you meet all your goals whether your in recovery or still trying to lose weight.

stay young and shit...

apologies and closet conquests.

I have the worst heartburn right now.

I have a huge pile of work to do.

the reason I'd been gone is because i lost my password for my email account and i couldn't log in. I don't use the email for this account anymore so sorry but I've caught up with almost everything. I'm sorry to say that I've gained weight while i was gone.

Good news is I'm back and I'm starting something called "closet conquest".

Closet conquest is about wearing things that you don't necessarily feel comfortable wearing or that you've only worn once. It's a lie to say there's nothing in your closet that you need to wear. Maybe a shirt in and odd color or a dress that is too formal for everyday but to casual for most events or even just a pair of jeans that are a little too tight.

so i went through my closet and found quite a few things.

I've organized them from easiest to wear to hardest.

1. the awesome floral skirt my aunt made for me (i wore it already so I can check it off my list)

2. the blue dress I wore to my cousins wedding (when i lose 5 pounds)

3. The creamy beige dress I wore to my aunts birthday party (when I lose 20 lbs)

4. The black tee shirt i got for my birthday. (30lbs)

5.the black dress I wore to my other cousins wedding (40 lbs)

6. the grey and white dress my aunt bought for me. (60 lbs)

7. the ridiculousness soft pink sweat pants (65 lbs)

8. the brown shorts (60 lbs)

9. the shirt i bought with my mother a while ago (50lbs)

I wore the floral skirt with a long sleeve top and it looked like a dress but i felt exposed and uncomfortable so this challenge will be motivation to look good in these things

to day i didn't count calories but I'm over budget anyways.

weight= 160

height= 5'5

short term goal = 155

good night my skinny dears and have sweet dreams.

I'm the smartest person in world

Today i was craving chocolate but i knew the smart breakfast would be oatmeal so...

i mixed nesquik(its spelled funky like that) powder with oatmeal and added some sugar and bam.

chocolate oats.

its not as gross as it sounds i promise.

1/4 cup of oats= 75 cals

1/2 cup of water= 0 cals

2tbs of nesquik= 60 cals

1 tsp of sugar = 17 cals

all together = 150 cals

still got dinner to go but I'm not worried

so I'll post later but mean while

my tumbler http://thesummerwind93.tumblr.com/

my twitter http://twitter.com/#!/Hannie39

I swear I'm reading your blogs i just don't comment. sorry

i love you guys!!!!

doing to be a bitch

I was gone for a bit due to stuff (I got lazy). I was back-stabbed by a girl. She's always taking what i want. If there's a thing she wants more than anything is to be a normal height thin girl with big bouncy curls. I'm going to be that. Its so easy I just need to be thin..

She's been doing things like this since the third grade. Boy can i hold a grudge. My goal for calories is 0-500. i've only lost 3lbs the healthy way. It sucks so here's some thinspo.

I'm going to hurt her like she hurt me. Don't mess with me or your life up. i want to lose 30 lbs by July.

Here's some reverse thinspo.

*gag* lol

ok so i'm tottally trying to catch up so wish me luck

love,

who even cares anymore

18 fucken years.

18 years tomorrow.I have done nothing.

I just wish some one would tell me that the world would truly accept me no matter how I looked.

fear of......men?

i dont want to go into the real world. Yes i do have boyfriend but he's so immature its like im practically dating a freshman. without the creepy-ness .

I dont want to be around real men. I've shut my self in my own little "nothing but a few friends" bubble. I'm scared of older men. How the male mind works is such a mystery to me. Now if hes an older guy living outside of the lame high school world, his thought process is most likely to be even more complicated. 5 more days until i'm 18. what are we even supposed to do once we are 18. "hey i can vote now even though i never cared much for politics!!" wooooooo!!!

This isn't the first time i'm scared like this either i remember when i was going to be a freshman i was afraid that kids would be rude but what scared me the most were boys. the scary part was that they were a mystery to me. What guys thought about was a mystery..

aside from academic stuff this is what worries me about college

i want to like myself

I really do i wish i could just look at myself and "Oh that's just me, whatever" but i cant. i just want a normal self accepting brain.

Is all the snickering in my head? Do girls really say that i'm disgusting behind my back?

I'm really scared and confused. i want to be thin but i think subconsciously I really just want the confidence...

the two conflicts in my brain are will i eat good full meals tomorrow or stay under 200?

i say i want to do "poster of a girl"- metric

"its about sex that is not appropriate"

i say "blindness"- metric

"well alright but you still have two more"

i say "running up that hill" -placebo

"that song was written for a man"

damn bitch wont let me pick any songs i want and who cares whether a song is for a man a a woman.

then she goes " if you dont want to fallow the rules then you cant participate"

shes a freaken english teacher what does she know about music.

then some girl comes in with a ke$ha song and its okay for her to sing that!

Shes letting everyone do whatever song they want she just wants me to quit so her stupid niece can be in the show. I'm not letting her do that.

so my song list ends up being

"blindness"- metric

"running up that hill" -placebo

"sadness runs through him" - the hoosiers

i know should have written songs myself but I cant. I hate putting part of my self in a song and being exposed it scares me.

what should I do?

i have to choose a song to sing for a thingy my school is throwing to raise money for Japan. it gunna big it our 2 biggest high schools in the county i get 3 songs. I cant come up with any songs to sing.

just stuff

here is some results that i got on few quizzes online.

are you more Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn

You Are More Like Audrey Hepburn

You are classy, stylish, and charming. You are the true definition of grace. Some people may think you're a pushover, but they have no idea how tough you can be. You tend to draw people in with your mind. You are an intelligent and witty flirt. You are effortlessly gorgeous and naturally appealing. No one would accuse you of trying too hard. what kind of celebrity would you be?

You Would Be a Down to Earth Celebrity

You aren't easily impressed or star struck, and if you were to become famous, it wouldn't change your own opinion about yourself. You'd still treat everyone as you always have, and more importantly, you wouldn't expect to be treated any differently. You'd be friendly to your fans and as accessible as possible. After all, they're the ones who make you famous. You'd be a celebrity in the mold of Kate Winslet, Renee Zellweger, John Mayer, and Ashton Kutcher. which Victoria's secret angel are you? You Are Most Like Adriana Lima Intriguing and sultry What your bathroom habit say about you? Your Bathroom Habits Say You're Selfish You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours. You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very stylish dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style. You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal. In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return. do you have the fears of an adult or child You Have the Fears of a Teenager You are still finding your footing in the world, and a lot fear stems from your own insecurity. You feel ready to be more independent and successful, but you're worried if you can really do it. You fear failure, and you also fear humiliating yourself. The less confident you are, the more afraid you are. Over time you are learning that everyone is afraid... you just have to act as if you're not! that one was shockingly true are you vain? You Are a Down to Earth Doll You're good looking and you realize that looks matter And you also know that it's your inside that really shines You do your best to look like an A-lister But you devote most of your time to being a well rounded hottie whats your inner fruit flavor? Your Inner Fruit Flavor is Pear You are an idealistic soul. You're the type of person who still believes in changing the world. You are compassionate and generous. You get joy from giving to others. You feel deeply and freely. You don't put bounds or limitations on your thoughts. You have a vivid imagination, and it's so deep that it's hard to express with words. what kind of bride will you be? You Will Be A Modern Bride! While you aren't ready to throw away all wedding traditions, you want a wedding with a twist You're more inspired by celebrity weddings on E! than from bridal magazines Whether this means getting married on the beach barefoot or a mariachi band for the reception... Your wedding will be a blend of old and new - white dress cocktail, personalized vows, whatever suites you!!! What Flavor Cupcake Are You? You Are a Vanilla Cupcake You are very sweet and mellow. You are easy going and easy to like. You are drawn to those stronger personalities. You get along with powerful people. You are like a cupcake because you appeal to almost every type of person. You are friendly and accepting. You bring out other people's best qualities. What Modern Bombshell Are You Most Like? You Are Most Like Dita Von Teese "I love playing the part of the damsel in distress." What Kind of Cake Are You? You Are a Red Velvet Cake Rich, decadent, and sensual. You have a deep appeal that transcends all trends. You are the definition of passion: intense, adventurous, and seductive. Are You Masculine or Feminine? You Are 56% Feminine, 44% Masculine You are in touch with both your feminine and masculine sides. You're sensitive at the right times, but you don't let your emotions overwhelm you. You are tough but tender. Logical but emotional. You're not a eunuch, just the best of both genders. i sound like a great guy....lol What Length Hair Should You Have? You Should Have Medium Length Hair You are easygoing and friendly. You don't get hung up on little details, and you're content. Your hair tells people that you are low maintenance and flexible. You don't need a lot to be happy. You are well liked and very energetic. You have a lot of friends, and you do something social almost every night of the week. You are witty and smart. You light up a room without really trying to. What Color Lip Gloss Should You Wear? You Should Wear Dark Rose Lip Gloss Sophisticated, classy, and timeless. What Famous Pinup Are You? You Are Marilyn Monroe A classic tortured beauty You're the dream girl of many men Yet they never seem to treat you right so many of these results contradict each other lol. this is my current favourite website you should check it out some the stuff is really funny. http://www.fmylife.com/

aww fuck

fuck.

fuck prom.

I have to go....its my fucken duty......as a girl...

I have to drop two dress sizes in 3 months. I cant achieve it in a healthy way. Fuck my life

new health rules.

No more fried food.

no more white bread, white pasta, white rice.

No more soda.

Sweets only once a month.

Eat more veggies and fruit

drink 8 bottles of water daily.

at least 20 min of exercise daily.

thank you guys for the support. It really means a lot to me.

oh and if your interested in how i know how much of what to eat i used the USDA website. lol

http://www.mypyramid.gov/mypyramid/index.aspx

so yeah.

here we go...

You guys are gunna hate me...

Today was so wierd i went to go see Just Go With It, with G of course.

then we went to the park and he told me about his older sister...

Shes 4 years older than him so she's 23. G is older than me he just turned 19 like a few weeks ago.he Im 17 and i'm turning 18 on April. So i'm kinda dating an older guy :P lol. Back to she story.

So his sister was around 10 and he was 6 when their parents divorced. Then a few years later(when G was 9) their Mom remarried and she married a guy who we will call Shit because to me he sounds like just that. Shit was the manly type and he always teased G and called his sister fat. So when she turned 13 she started losing weight. At the beginning she looked good but then the typical eating disorder thing happened. She got "too" thin and "unhealthy".

I always hear the eating disorder side of the story. To see and hear him talk about what it did to his parents and him it just made me think. I dont want this for my family. We have been through too much, too much!

I love my mom my dad and my brother so much. I don't want to put them through any more hardships.

I still want to lose weight. I'm doing it the "healthy" way. i wont stop bloging. I'll do a post tomorrow on my plan.

love,

H.G

i dont want to

I want to cancel on...we'll call him G.

But that make me an asshole.

but i'd have to curl my hair and slap on my date make up and wear my date clothes. I'd have to spend and hour trying to look hot but still keep my personal style. i dont want date food. UGH.

I had a dream my school had dance and no one asked me out. I don't go to dances. If a guy asks me to a dance i always say "i don't dance". but guys ask every year every dance.

Its like my mind telling me to lose weight unless i want to be alone.I'll rite later about my date. oh and by the way this week has been a non stop binge.

I HAD A DATE OKAY!!!!

Thats why i ate so much.

We went to Mexican food place. The fancy type. (not taco bell which in my opinion is not Mexican it's just lard dipped in a lard covered in cheese inside a tortilla.)

i have no idea of the calories i had but i doubt it was under 500.

(u can ignore this because its about my date)

he picked me up @ 3.

and.... he was the type that opens door and pulls out the chair for you. Maybe it was the fact that it was our first date ill just find out later.

so we sit down he orders enchiladas

i order the cheapest and smallest thing on the menu. tamales.

so we eat. he tells me i looked pretty.

the he says "you know, i really like you"

and i say "no dip thats why you asked me out" ಠ_ಠ <---- disapproving face

and he laughed...

he laughed at my bitchy sarcasm...

wow i think im love....

but no seriously.

once again hes not my type...

hes a football player but hes not fat . i have no idea what he does on the team but i don't like it.

so then we have dinner and talk about things like

*warning showing off*

how my painting sold for 350 dollars at our school auction. the whole reason we had it was to save "our" sports.

*showing off is over now*

so when we finish we go on to the park and we talk some more.

at the end of our date he says.

" so like are we going out now"

me: "sure, whatever"

i know i seem like a bitch right now but he asks a lot of stupid questions that to me have obvious answers.

him: "uhm.. ok so what now? are we like officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

and at that moment his the look on face was... priceless... it made me want to go awwww

and then i was nice to him on the way home.

is he too good for me? yes

does this put pressure on me to get thinner? yes

do i want to go straight to the bathroom and throw up my guts? yes.

theres too many questions going through my mind. why does he like me? what does he see?

ugh

yes hes adorable

we were textong right now it says exactly this..

him:what r u doin

me: nm just chillin' lol wby

him: oh was jst bored. so.. when do u wana hang out again?

me: idk . when do you think we shud hang out

him: idk. when are u free. we cud go watch a movie.

me: alright. does fri sound good.

him: sure.

me: im gunna go to bed l8ter.

him: goodnight.

.

who am I kidding you guys dont need that much detail but i do.

SO ALL IN ALL IM SUPER CONFUSED.

oh and i lost a pound.

him

:( :)

i did good.

breakfast

oatmeal- 150

cinnamon- 6

sugar- 10

21 pickle slices- 10

lunch

1 strip of bacon- 46

10 chips- 167

dinner

rice crispy- 90

1 blue berry- 1

a total of 480 calories.

i think i did well. :)

just random( i heart vs)

The challenge

ok so i challenge any one who reads this to do this challenge.
its very simple. once you complete this challenge tell your readers to do the same.
its kinda like a tag.

4 things that make you upset about life. (optional pictures because some things can be sad) post picture that you think express each of those things.

5 things about life that make you happy. and post picture that you think express each of those things.

3. things you dont like about your self . picturs are optional

5 things that you like about your self. (pictures r optional) post pictures that you think express each of those things.

4 things you want to accomplish this year. post picture that you think express each of those things.

3. things you want to avoid this year. pics r optional post picture that you think express each of those things.


rules.
no sarcasm.
pictures can be yours or of the web.
nothing that will hurt an other users feelings.

so have fun and heres mine.


4 things that make me upset about life.

1. poverty

2. natural disasters.

3. animal cruelty

4. bullies

5 things about life that make me happy.

1. babies laughing

2. sleeping baby animals.

3.double rainbows!!!

4. warm but not too hot sunny springy days.

5. laughing with friends and family.

3 things dont like about my self.

1. im fat

2. i lack will power

3world dumbest self esteem

5. things i like about my self.

1. my ability to relax

2. fast learner.

3.my sense of humor

4. my ability to dream.

5. i dont mind being a shoulder to cry on

4. things i want to accomplish this year.

lose weight.

get good grades

be in healthy realationship

learn to like myself a bit more

3. thing i want o avoid

weight gain

getting in trouble

j

getting discovered.

im honestly not trying. i can do better than this week. i will do better than this week. now if you will excuse me im going to go plan out my reward system.

it seems like ill never have a good day

chicken - 431
potatoes- 250
hash browns - 800
barbecue souce - 40
gatorade -130
doritos - 200
soda- 110
candy- 300

total 2261

im gunna go sleep now

the moment i lose ten pounds i will reward my self. i failed here is my day.

I wake up and go to school during my first break i have nothing.
Then we go to the local middle school because its the seniors duty to tell the 8th graders of the "wonders" and the "fun" they will have next year. honestly it makes me feel dumb. how when i was their age i believed every thing i was told about high school. then we have lunch with the middle schoolers. i have a gotrade- 130 cals- and some hot cheetos - 130 cals- then some peanut m&ms -110 cals-
all together 370 cals.
i get home and i eat until i reach 1149 cals.

i cant throw up i just dont want to.

lets say i burn 1990 cals
i had 1149 cals

1990 - 1149= 841
841x7-5887
5887 / 3500 = 1.682

if i ate like this i would lose one pound a week. which is too slow for me

binge purge binge

i think im gunna go purge.

i haven't lost i haven't gained. i want to lose weight i want to be skinny it seams that once im thin all my insecurities will go away.
I want it bad it just seems like sometimes i forget.

happy valentines purge

binge and purge and feeling good

Ugh candy Ugh friend chicken
ugh being fat

ugh 191.5
ugh 5'5

ugh dumping my boyfriend 2morrow
ugh i hate being single
ugh i hate seeing girls thinner than me
ugh i hate this girl named w who has my dream body.
yay at leats i know she has becouse she throws up...
if i do it i can achive her body if i starve i can be like her

what do you guys do about stretch marks if you get them?

bye love yall

tell me if you have a tumblr and i will fallow u

my tumblr is http://thesummerwind93.tumblr.com/

i have some catching up to do...

i want skinniness. :(

I want it...

I will get it
i will kill for it
if i have to

I will get it
i wil light my self on fire for it

I will be thin I declare war against my body.

No one will keep from it i don't care if the two guys i love are running around with other girls i will stab my feeling for the until they are dead. Its me myself and I now. I will work for my self and i.

fuck anyone who thinks they can stop me...
I don't have much but this is something i wont live without

im going to tell you guys

about what happened yesterday.

so some little fucker with no balls called me fat.

i knew that...i dont need him to point it out.

i had never done something to him,ever. heck i was one of the few who could tolerate his nonsense.

ill admit it this made me want to be skinny so bad.

we weren't fighting. He just did it to be dick.

so i guess
it didn't kill me
so it must have mad me stronger.

i want to talk

i was called fat...

im upset. not even 5% of my thoughts make it to my blog

im sorry

i want to be thin

i want that so bad
to be fragile
to be pretty
to be so damn thin
i want to be skinny

i want that but i'm not even sure how anymore.

just random

is anyone else mad that seventies fashion is coming back at least here in the us that all over the magazines. I mean i kinda liked the 80's thing we had going on oh well that sucks.

All so the bright lips nude eyes is back i kinda liked that trend oh and the bright eye shadow and nude lips. i like those trends :)
also the fringe is back yay. but it feels like they say that every year.

so make an appointment with your hairstylist and pull out the cherry red lipstick.

ugh also I'm not very thrilled about floral prints but my style is versatile so i can live with it..

WHY THE HELL AM I TALKING FASHION THIS IS NOT A FASHION BLOG. oh well you guys will have to deal with it.


The funny thing is i plan to major in mythology. lol

heres my shopping list for the mall.

1 gel eyeliner. (i'm out and liquid sucks)
2 brown shimmery shadow. (a Hanrietta essential)
3 bright eyeshadow palette. (yay)
4 a bright red sparkley lip gloss.(anyone know a good one?)

ok so i have to go im sure my next post will be a proper i promise.

sorry i was gone soooo long

Not that anybody cares...

wow crazy week... this is my last vacation day i need a haircut....

so some where around Christmas i met this guy. don't you dare get fucking giddy on me.
cuz we might be boyfriend and girlfriend but i honestly don't care for him...at all. call me ungrateful call me whatever the hell you want (potty mouth much?). But i guess i don't really think theres going to be anything involving boys much in my year anyways so its not like i'm missing out on anything by being with this guy hes just there to be a thing (hahaha i'm such a bitch). since i'm going going to be motherless for a few months cuz my mom going to mexico...my dad doesn't give a fuck about what i do so im a free bitch did i mention i turn 18 in April.... yeah im bringing hell to 2011.

what will i do to celebrate...not much probably punch some babies just kidding i love babies.

so how was your guys's new year mine was what ever...

im gunna make a bunch of random list now

new years resolutions
1 lose weight and get down to a bmi of 20 at the most
2 find a cute guy (not that the guy i'm with is ugly hes just..not my type not artsy enough)
3 help out my friends band more instead of always lying that i have a sore throat so i don't have to be lead singer cuz i'm self conscious about my body.
4 dedicate some more time to blogger geesh.
5 stop wearing flats and move on to high heels becouse im not baby doggy any more (inside joke ill explain later)
6 graduate OMG i almost forgot i have to work my ass and tits off to graduate cuz ive been doing some major slacking off

good shit that happened in 2010
1 i switched my lame loser friend for my cooler much more betterer friends that make me want to do good in school.
2 lost 20 pounds which proves i can do it

bad shit that happened
1 totally did horrible at school
2 last 20 but gained 30
3 was betrayed by my so called friends so i left them.

my expectations for 2011
none
i don't want to expect anything really.

so going back to school tomorrow in the middle of the week which i find odd.

i found my camera.....
but im too fat for pictures
random goal weight without specific time 114 lbs

oh now to explain the baby doggy joke my friend was like saying how my dog was such a cute puppy and then i said we were all like that at some point but i meant we were all cute little babies and the he goes oh we were al little baby doggies. its funnier at the time its one of those you had to be there things

ok so im of to do nothing and be a wierdo and be fat and tweigh my self and cry then make fun jessi sloughter and then be a thingy or some thing random rambling im totally braind dead must be from watching too many cartoons like a seven year old now im going tro go sing a random song