new health rules.

No more fried food.

no more white bread, white pasta, white rice.

No more soda.

Sweets only once a month.

Eat more veggies and fruit

drink 8 bottles of water daily.

at least 20 min of exercise daily.

thank you guys for the support. It really means a lot to me.

oh and if your interested in how i know how much of what to eat i used the USDA website. lol

http://www.mypyramid.gov/mypyramid/index.aspx

so yeah.

here we go...

You guys are gunna hate me...

Today was so wierd i went to go see Just Go With It, with G of course.

then we went to the park and he told me about his older sister...

Shes 4 years older than him so she's 23. G is older than me he just turned 19 like a few weeks ago.he Im 17 and i'm turning 18 on April. So i'm kinda dating an older guy :P lol. Back to she story.

So his sister was around 10 and he was 6 when their parents divorced. Then a few years later(when G was 9) their Mom remarried and she married a guy who we will call Shit because to me he sounds like just that. Shit was the manly type and he always teased G and called his sister fat. So when she turned 13 she started losing weight. At the beginning she looked good but then the typical eating disorder thing happened. She got "too" thin and "unhealthy".

I always hear the eating disorder side of the story. To see and hear him talk about what it did to his parents and him it just made me think. I dont want this for my family. We have been through too much, too much!

I love my mom my dad and my brother so much. I don't want to put them through any more hardships.

I still want to lose weight. I'm doing it the "healthy" way. i wont stop bloging. I'll do a post tomorrow on my plan.

love,

H.G

i dont want to

I want to cancel on...we'll call him G.

But that make me an asshole.

but i'd have to curl my hair and slap on my date make up and wear my date clothes. I'd have to spend and hour trying to look hot but still keep my personal style. i dont want date food. UGH.

I had a dream my school had dance and no one asked me out. I don't go to dances. If a guy asks me to a dance i always say "i don't dance". but guys ask every year every dance.

Its like my mind telling me to lose weight unless i want to be alone.I'll rite later about my date. oh and by the way this week has been a non stop binge.

I HAD A DATE OKAY!!!!

Thats why i ate so much.

We went to Mexican food place. The fancy type. (not taco bell which in my opinion is not Mexican it's just lard dipped in a lard covered in cheese inside a tortilla.)

i have no idea of the calories i had but i doubt it was under 500.

(u can ignore this because its about my date)

he picked me up @ 3.

and.... he was the type that opens door and pulls out the chair for you. Maybe it was the fact that it was our first date ill just find out later.

so we sit down he orders enchiladas

i order the cheapest and smallest thing on the menu. tamales.

so we eat. he tells me i looked pretty.

the he says "you know, i really like you"

and i say "no dip thats why you asked me out" ಠ_ಠ <---- disapproving face

and he laughed...

he laughed at my bitchy sarcasm...

wow i think im love....

but no seriously.

once again hes not my type...

hes a football player but hes not fat . i have no idea what he does on the team but i don't like it.

so then we have dinner and talk about things like

*warning showing off*

how my painting sold for 350 dollars at our school auction. the whole reason we had it was to save "our" sports.

*showing off is over now*

so when we finish we go on to the park and we talk some more.

at the end of our date he says.

" so like are we going out now"

me: "sure, whatever"

i know i seem like a bitch right now but he asks a lot of stupid questions that to me have obvious answers.

him: "uhm.. ok so what now? are we like officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

and at that moment his the look on face was... priceless... it made me want to go awwww

and then i was nice to him on the way home.

is he too good for me? yes

does this put pressure on me to get thinner? yes

do i want to go straight to the bathroom and throw up my guts? yes.

theres too many questions going through my mind. why does he like me? what does he see?

ugh

yes hes adorable

we were textong right now it says exactly this..

him:what r u doin

me: nm just chillin' lol wby

him: oh was jst bored. so.. when do u wana hang out again?

me: idk . when do you think we shud hang out

him: idk. when are u free. we cud go watch a movie.

me: alright. does fri sound good.

him: sure.

me: im gunna go to bed l8ter.

him: goodnight.

.

who am I kidding you guys dont need that much detail but i do.

SO ALL IN ALL IM SUPER CONFUSED.

oh and i lost a pound.

him

:( :)

i did good.

breakfast

oatmeal- 150

cinnamon- 6

sugar- 10

21 pickle slices- 10

lunch

1 strip of bacon- 46

10 chips- 167

dinner

rice crispy- 90

1 blue berry- 1

a total of 480 calories.

i think i did well. :)

just random( i heart vs)

The challenge

ok so i challenge any one who reads this to do this challenge.
its very simple. once you complete this challenge tell your readers to do the same.
its kinda like a tag.

4 things that make you upset about life. (optional pictures because some things can be sad) post picture that you think express each of those things.

5 things about life that make you happy. and post picture that you think express each of those things.

3. things you dont like about your self . picturs are optional

5 things that you like about your self. (pictures r optional) post pictures that you think express each of those things.

4 things you want to accomplish this year. post picture that you think express each of those things.

3. things you want to avoid this year. pics r optional post picture that you think express each of those things.


rules.
no sarcasm.
pictures can be yours or of the web.
nothing that will hurt an other users feelings.

so have fun and heres mine.


4 things that make me upset about life.

1. poverty

2. natural disasters.

3. animal cruelty

4. bullies

5 things about life that make me happy.

1. babies laughing

2. sleeping baby animals.

3.double rainbows!!!

4. warm but not too hot sunny springy days.

5. laughing with friends and family.

3 things dont like about my self.

1. im fat

2. i lack will power

3world dumbest self esteem

5. things i like about my self.

1. my ability to relax

2. fast learner.

3.my sense of humor

4. my ability to dream.

5. i dont mind being a shoulder to cry on

4. things i want to accomplish this year.

lose weight.

get good grades

be in healthy realationship

learn to like myself a bit more

3. thing i want o avoid

weight gain

getting in trouble

j

getting discovered.

im honestly not trying. i can do better than this week. i will do better than this week. now if you will excuse me im going to go plan out my reward system.

it seems like ill never have a good day

chicken - 431
potatoes- 250
hash browns - 800
barbecue souce - 40
gatorade -130
doritos - 200
soda- 110
candy- 300

total 2261

im gunna go sleep now

the moment i lose ten pounds i will reward my self. i failed here is my day.

I wake up and go to school during my first break i have nothing.
Then we go to the local middle school because its the seniors duty to tell the 8th graders of the "wonders" and the "fun" they will have next year. honestly it makes me feel dumb. how when i was their age i believed every thing i was told about high school. then we have lunch with the middle schoolers. i have a gotrade- 130 cals- and some hot cheetos - 130 cals- then some peanut m&ms -110 cals-
all together 370 cals.
i get home and i eat until i reach 1149 cals.

i cant throw up i just dont want to.

lets say i burn 1990 cals
i had 1149 cals

1990 - 1149= 841
841x7-5887
5887 / 3500 = 1.682

if i ate like this i would lose one pound a week. which is too slow for me

binge purge binge

i think im gunna go purge.

i haven't lost i haven't gained. i want to lose weight i want to be skinny it seams that once im thin all my insecurities will go away.
I want it bad it just seems like sometimes i forget.

happy valentines purge

binge and purge and feeling good

Ugh candy Ugh friend chicken
ugh being fat

ugh 191.5
ugh 5'5

ugh dumping my boyfriend 2morrow
ugh i hate being single
ugh i hate seeing girls thinner than me
ugh i hate this girl named w who has my dream body.
yay at leats i know she has becouse she throws up...
if i do it i can achive her body if i starve i can be like her

what do you guys do about stretch marks if you get them?

bye love yall

tell me if you have a tumblr and i will fallow u

my tumblr is http://thesummerwind93.tumblr.com/

i have some catching up to do...

i want skinniness. :(