167 is weightloss

so yeah... tomorrowis 500 cals

Never have I ever.....

..been normal
   My current obsession is being regular. Watching all the girls how they dress what they do and how they act and how they do their make up. So i do the same and become them. My room-mate Lee and bf josh spend every hour together. There's a boy in my apartment building who looks interesting. He's always swimming. Whether its hot or freezing he still goes out to the pool to swim. When I reach 125 ill try and get his attention. Until then I'm too fat. French class makes me hunrgy. Tu as faime? oui j'ai faime! Qu'est que tu veux? Je voudrais un steak-frites et un soda, s'ill tu plait. So today it was eat normal, binge, puke,  binge, and regret.

Here is the meal plan for 2morrow
protein shake- 190
apple - 90
jello- 10
cottage cheese and banana - 163
at least - 10 cups of water
 total= 458 cals
 still under 500
     lately i've developed this game where you take a random word you see and make something negative ou tof it for example-  I see butterfly I think of butter and how fat i am.

   I need to find punishment for my self.

Well bye...
.

Your fat ugly face....

     Months had gone by and we had spent so much time together. we "ate" together and unknowingly, you fed my disease. You were so busy with your habits you didn't see mine. 


                                                     a few weeks earlier.....
    I walked out from my class. My eyes searched for you in the oceans student pouring out of their classes like water out of a faucet. I fallowed the current of students to our usual spot already pulling out your lunch. I sat next to you all i had was my drink, a simple can of diet coke. " that all you having'?" you said in you high pitched too loud voice. " yeah, not too hungry.."
      "you got some sort of eating disorder?'
No, but you do I saw... You have binge eating disorder. A pack of Oreo cakesters, a sandwich, a snickers bar, a bag of chips and a soda. You ate the whole feast in under 15 min. Every day you stuff yourself  with tons of food. 
    So the day i decide i'd rather spend the day with a boy. You go and tell everyone I'm vomiting and I don't eat at all. 







     last time I'm nice to you. I denied every thing and I said that compared to how she eats how i eat is a little.
   that just a pic I found on google.