In case anyone still reads my blog...

Binges suck.

The good thing is I know what I did wrong.

I went too long without food. I now know that if I go too long without eating i get them heartburn pains.

So for tomorrow:

breakfast-

Greek yogurt.......170

small apple.......95

green tea.........32

lunch-

granola bar.........150

water......0

Dinner-

egg roll .....190

soda....100

snack-

4 pieces of gum...20

total 757

I don't have to go too long with food and hopefully I avoid a binge.

I cried this binge because I felt so hopeless and so useless.

Today I heard some guys at the campus cafe talking about their "dream girl".

so the guy looked a bit older a senior or junior. he was still really hot. he starts saying that he likes a littler girl.

I don't know if he meant you, thin, or short. Then he said he wanted the girl to be smaller than him. That's not me... I'm going to be lonely and fat forever...

love you guys i hope you reach your goals.

haha oh black swimsuits
ps. how is it that theres 2 comments and blogger only marks one view count?

Funzies is a real word.....according to me

yesterday I went ahead and binged on barbecue chips and a bunch of other crap.

I don't know whats wrong with my stomach but it's been heartburn-y. Yeah, it kinda bugs me.

In other news I've started my period! Hooray! oh I just love going to bed late because of cramps and waking up early because of cramps! For some unknown bitch reason my period sucks even more this time, these cramps are really bad.

Just for funzies I'm gonna make my calorie goal 800 just to ease into this. Its way to early to leave for school. So I'm going to weigh myself right now.

cw=168lbs

sgw= 160lbs

ugw= 90lbs

height = 5'5 ft

so.. not the weight i wanted but its better than nothing! wait... that's not better than nothing!! lol that doesn't even make sense oh well i'm gonna go shower and get ready for school. I'll see later.. maybe, if I have the time and energy.

good bye my dears and have wonderful day I hope you meet all your goals whether your in recovery or still trying to lose weight.

stay young and shit...

The start...I guess

So if I start some kind of blog it''ll help me concentrate, i think. so this is well a pro ana blog :) . kinda I'm not ana but i fallow i few tips ant trick of their and i will offer support for those who need it. just messege me
Okay...this is hard, opening up like this is hard.

Not too long ago i started to realize...I'm fat. I want to be skinny no not a "healthy weight" i want to be skinny.
So here's my plan. 30 lbs by march
week 1. 727
week 2. 705
week 3. 683
week 4. 661
week 5. 639
week 6. 616
week 7. 595
week 8. 547

That's a lot of cals but i'm trying to make it look like i eat well maybe even a lot.
my parentS
will notice to easily so yup.
to day I've had
a spoonful of cereal (my dad was watching) 47 cal
two sour punch straws (damn temptation) 50 cals
total 97 out of 435 (what i'm really really allowing my self)

I also used to be but it's amlost been a month since my last cutting thingy.

not to long ago i was saved from a total binge by the song paper bag by fionna apple.

oh and here are my tools for weight loss.

My air climber

the mirror

elle mags

and this blog :)

loves, Henrietta

mayo is my enemie