I've been thinking

OK. So...

This is so silly and spontaneous...
Okay so im starting a journey...

I cant really call this a self acceptance journey because thats impossible for me but it is kinda of a being more me more natural.

This is kinda hard to explain. I want to be healthier...looking.
No im not going to start eating full regular meals but i will take care of my self in a more natural way. So basically stop being so how do i say this....

First I guess i have to explain my rep at school. Im not a total loser as a matter of fact im pretty popular i dont mess with a lot of people so i don't have many (if any at all) enemies. But i'm not really the approachable type and i want to breake that i want to be more of you now soome type of friendlier looking because everyone know i cant talk to anyone i cant talk to a really happy person and a really depressed personn I dont now why i guess im just versatile lol. But that doesn't really show And i really think I need to do something to kinda let that show through. So im going to baisically change my look to a more girl next door type.

Like the other day i was with few of my friends and we were all talking about wich one one word could describe each of us like for example my friend S was "fun" my friend J "wierd" and my friends bf was "shy". I got "mysterious". I was WHAT! me!?!?!? why?!?!?. they were all like oh id don't your so dark and quiet looking.

so now i'm trying to get rid of the whole quiet dark thing and just be plain friendlier on the outside. So im toning down the make up and turning up the charm.
lol i'm so lame.

This is going to be hard becouse I dont have the features for little miss friendly California girl. (Im from cali in case i hadn't mentioned that before). Im just going to try really hard to look on the outside like i am on the inside.
*warning cheasy-ness coming up*
I guess im going to try to be more myself, to let my hair curl to let my cheeks blush to laugh when i remember something to let people know im not quiet dark person. That i really am just a normal quirky person.
so.. there

not really a food related post but it is me related so yeah.
heres the food part
ist around five and only 15 cals have entered this mouth :)

h.g

I have so much to say..

ok so....

my last up date was dec 14

dec 15
social life : My talked to this girl who i think is soooo pretty i want to be like her so badly.
love life: is it me or are guys straiting to notice me?
food/ diet: binging, eating alot.

dec 16.
social: friends bday.
love: it was just me. no guy would notice a big ol' tub of lard like me.
food: same.

dec 17:
last day of this semester.
social: said hello talked to my gay friends who we will call C.
i hadn't talked to C since middle school...so like almost 4 years. He looked fab as always. but now he has red hair so i called him fire crotch. lol I miss him best friends forever!!
love: hhahahah who could love me im a total fat ass.
food/diet: same as before

dec18:
social: went out shopping for relatives wedding.
love: err...b=this is pointless.
food/diet: this too is pointless

dec 19

went to wedding felt like a cow but that day was about the people getting married not me.
Can anyone say INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE. This is the second time a girl in our family (Latinos) marries a white guy. Then of course like mothers do... my mom brought up the fact that after theres only two other girls older than who haven't gotten married...then it should be my turn...*sarcasm* oh yes because my love life is looking so great ill probably get married in 2 years as soon as i turn 20.

and now for the post that belong to today.

Im sooooo tired the wedding was like 5 hours away we went and came back in one day.

They're back!!!!!!
I have this issue. Sometimes when i go to sleep my body goes to sleep but not my mind or at least thats what i think happens. It horrible it like bind trapped in a cage. I'm paralyzed. I can't move i can only control my breathing. Usually this things don't last too long. I haven't had these in a while but recently I've gotten them every other night. They started again around Friday.

So i did what i usually do. I quicken my breathing so hopefully some one hears me and tries to wake me up (no one ever does. I try to move as much as much as i can (the best I've ever done is move my finger tips). Then i just do this until it goes away.

But on Friday i gave in to it. I relaxed i let the paralysis take over me then every thing went white and i saw a field. I got scared and tried to scream because i thought i was going to stay paralyzed for ever. Then it went away and i could move again.
Some of you may not believe me but this is really true. I realize i sound extremely crazy but maybe i just am. I want to know what would happen if a gave in but i don't want to die. I'm afraid my mind will turn on me and show me horrible things.OH god I am crazy...I guess i have a sleep disorder.

oh this post is sooooo long.

Food wise i have to make holiday cookies to deliver to relatives. So ill be eating some...

I just want to tell food to go away. I'm so confused. Sometimes I think i want to accept myself other times i think of losing weight a healthy way then i get hit by reality.. I cant...

This is the only way so in name of my craziness and going back to square 1 and my blogs 1st bday coming up dec 28th
Here's my first plan i wrote on this blog.

week 1. 727
week 2. 705
week 3. 683
week 4. 661
week 5. 639
week 6. 616
week 7. 595
week 8. 547

So here you go....
The door is everything! All that once was and all that will be! The door can control time and space! Love and death! The door can see into your mind!!! The door can see into your soul!!!!!!!!!,
HG

Its a....

MAYBE!!!!!'

I might get to stay in the U.S for at least six more months....

Which means i get to finish my senior year and go have tons of sex drugs and alcohol. lol jk

I fail my fast.(haha funny because i had a burrito which is Mexican)

thats 80 cals from tea
200 from soda
and 700 from a burrito.

thats a total 980 cals.......disgusting

ahh second semester how i absolutely adore/hate you.

guess what?
*dramatic pause*

I ran into K at target... i needed a new note book for ceramics. my bitchy teacher makes us answer questions on them if (the whole class) were bad...what are we 4 year olds?. Any ways... so i saw K and we made eye contact.....We haven't done that since last year..lol K makes me such a dork. but i think he recognized me and i just went on talking to my brother. I wish i had three wishes or at least one... to be thin

I HEARTZ YOU,
h.g

p.s lol My friends and i came up with nick names for eachother that had to do with penises i got rainbow penis lol it was either that blowjob queen. (I need to grow up)

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

My tittle have been irrelevant lately but so has my mind.....

NO TEENAGE DREAM FOR YOU!!!!

I have to leave for mexico with my mom. She has a career in mexico. I was born here i was raised here in the u.s.a i talk like a total valley girl.
Its not much about what i want to do but more what i have to do I cant send my mother by herself. nope. I feel like i'm sacrificing so much when i'm really not. I guess i kinda am no i'm really just leaving in the middle of the year ill stick out like a sore thumb especially because IN SPANISH I HAVE THE READING LEVEL OF A FIRST GRADER!!!!

My reading in English is perfect most of my fancy diplomas are from literature and anything to do with letters and words. I've been speaking Spanish since i was born and i speak good Spanish grammatically correct Spanish. The problem is I grew up here I was raised by this culture this environment. I don't know what will happen.. will I fit in? my dreams my aspirations my graduation..... This was too drastic of course theres internet in mexico so ill keep blogging but my friends... i'm being suddenly torn from them from my School and its charming yet prison-like appearance.
I'll be wearing a uniform maybe i'll post a picture maybe i wont depends how much it makes me want to puke. lol I don't think i have the body to rock a uniform.lol you guys know what this means????

Liquid fast until after new years which is when i leave.

SO.... that was most of my venting.

DID I MENTION I'M NOT GONNA FIT IN I'M PROBABLY GONNA BE SOME SAD OUTCAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I' ll make friends right i mean who wouldn't be my friend???????

OMG!!! what if the uniform sizes are too small?!?!?!?

would a large from there be the same as a large from here?!?!?

If not im doomed, everyones gonna be sooooo much skinnier than me!!!!

So i planned on living at home while attending college next year.

I can still meet up with K if i come back in time......

But K seams kinda meaningless right now..

On the other hand its a fresh start and also theres no way my mom will be able too cook for me so basically im in charge of my own nutrition....*evil laugh*

no forcing me too eat and if I really hate it there, ill just be too depressed to eat.

But im mostly scared for my safety I've been watching the news lately and some parts of mexico are crazy. I'll have to be extra careful... Thats what my mom said.

Have any of you read the hunger games? not its not about eating disorders. These are good books i recommend them they are way too easy but the story is very cool.

(reference to books)So basically moving to mexico would be like moving from the capital to district 12.

I'm losing my life guys... who will i become? what will i do?


you guys get to stick around for the ride lol

"It's not a hill it's a mountain
As you start out the climb
Do you believe me or are you doubtin?
We're gonna make it all the way to the light
But I know I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight "

music knows me too well,
H.G





I think I'll go crazy if i dont go crazy tonight.

watch out for the blahblahblah!!!!

*bends over sink*

ok just throw up just get it out of your self go just go do it

*throws up look up at mirror*

damn i need a hair cut...

and....scene

thank you thank you very much

that honestly sounds like one crazy indie flick....

so this is how my first day as a freshman should go....(it also tells you my daily routine.)

I wake up its still dark outside...

i wash my face with regular soap and then use some

I smear on a some concealer then turn on my ipod to bliss by muse.

then dust on some translucent powder then put on some barely noticeable brown eye shadow the line both bottom and top of eyes with dark brown liner and smudge it a bit. curl my lashes and put on some mascara.

the i straighten my hair (to tame frizz and add shine) while lip syncing to crystal castles crimewave...

then i curl it while doing to same then straighten my bangs...At this point i have straight front bangs...

once i'm done being a dork and doing some creepy retro dance i wash the hair products out of my hands and apply some blush and some coral gloss

then ashtray heart by placebo

then ill actually sing to this song while i put on my dark wash skinny jeans (ill hopefully be skinny by then)

then my white tank top then a blue and black striped cardigan

then my black ballet flats

and some long fake pearl necklaces

then ill spray my self like crazy with my coconut scented perfume and rub on some of the lotion from the same set.

then ill go downstairs for some tea.. then ill come back up to brush my teeth while i have to return some video tapes by breathe Carolina plays.

I havent lost my high school music taste yet its only my first year okay -_-

and ill pick up my jansport back pack (from highschool)

then ill arrive and then school happens and i hope fully run into k and he sees hoe im skinny but still do my hair the same and then he talks to me and asks me out and the im the happiest girl in the world..........................

a girl can dream...

so thats my plan for next year i have six months to make this happen..... ill read this post for mativation ....

Hunger+ tear + struggling / love= beauty

te quiere mucho,

hannie <3>

im gunna go work out now....

well then legless crawl...

say what? i have no idea I've been sick the whole week which made me gain my 3 pounds back then i lost 2.5 which technically means i only gained .5. so...... about my last post....

Though i appreciate all the comments on my last blog....I LIKE BEING TORTURED!!!!

Yes i do want to cry when i think of him (my life is turning into the song creep by Radiohead) but i enjoy it... Wait... i don't, i like liking him and having a reason for all of this other than myself. If this whole thing is just for me i cant do it i don't feel as if i'm the right motivation for my self. do i make sense? probably not... I like to think theres a normal reason for doing this not just so i can be a crazy lunatic person. Almost as if this was natural....

New obsession: make up. i have to have it all!!!

now read this out laud.

PENISLAND

ITS PEN ISLAND YOU PERVS

ME

If you were granted three wishes from an angel or genie what would you want?

1. to have a Victoria's secret model body proportional to my height

2. for k to like me

3. to have tons of money

Who is your favourite super hero?

Batman

If you were an animal then what would you be?

tiger.

Which is your favourite song that you would sing at a karaoke bar?

Journey - don't stop believing

Which is your favourite cartoon character?

Finn from adventure time

Which is the one romance depicted in the movies that you would want to experience in your life?

any of it really....

Which is the celebrity or actor you would want to date?

idk....taylor lautner....i know im cliche leave me alone

What is the one thing that you have done in your life that you would want to undo?

Getting fat in the first place

If you were to be reborn who would you want to be born as?

A hot person

What is the one thing that you would want your children to learn about life?

DONT GET FAT

If you could travel back in time and meet yourself as a 10 year old kid what advice would you want to give him/her?

Start dieting now before it matters

Do you believe in the afterlife?

yes

What is you current favorite song?

Y control- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

What is you favorite color?

Right now peach its warm yet girly and soft

im being 1000% honest here

love,

Derpy Depry derrrr

I want him...

I still do its been about a year and a half since i talked to him. I still like you K. I never stopped. when i glared at you it was my anger showing that you didn't pick me. I will see you after graduation in about six months. I'll be a freshman at the same college as you. I'll be skinny with my bangs cut the way you liked them. I'll tell you of my new discoveries in the world of music....

I'll admit it.I.Still.Like.HIM

I know for a fact the first day of next year i'll be looking for him, his rusty old truck and his beautiful brown hair....................

He's my main motivation.

Skinny= k's attention.

I'm pathetic,

Hanrietta

Try again

this is in no way a proper post.

Tomorrow i will be super busy

hope fully leaving little to no time to eat. :)

To all my fallowers/readers

thanks

love, Hanrietta (i'm retarded i have been trying to write my name correctly for five minutes now)

fruit fast

I'm gonna fruit fast join me and lulu if you'd like

I’m in a dark hole a dark place

I hear the voice in my head

“fat ass” “Loser” never good enough…

I don’t feel much I can only think of my failure

Of how disgusting I am

If I have to purge every time I eat id rather nor eat.

My chest hurts I want water and then I want a nap…

good so far...

I had oatmeal for breakfast 165

I had half an apple (saving the rest for later:P) it was kinda big so 50

total = 250

so far so good.

I'm gunna try not to purge it out later.

I lost 3 lbs which is just plain cool. :)

i lost them in two days its not much but its better than nothing.

Comment reply time

@bonesarepure

Thanks. sometimes it just feels good to get the junk out of my system.

Thanks for your support guys.

love,

Henrietta

I feel...

Sick, i just threw up. I binged then, threw up. Then i took pills and a multi vitamin. Drank some tea (dieter's tea. Despite that I binged, i'm feeling pretty good. haha im so messed up my head hurts and im happy. why? i dont even know.

new day

me on the scale.

"lose, lose, lose ,lose......gained" I lb thats it. i have to get on my feet again. but how i give up on the liquid fast 820 calories today no more. i also need to start working out again. I watched "thin" the documentary last night/ this morning. no crazy dreams this time yay semi normal sleep!!

click here for the first part.

i liked it...it had the wrong effect on me though i only wanted to lose more weight. I'm so going to hell....

I'm gonna tell my self the truth. i want to suffer i want to be weak and cold and miserable i want boys to want to protect me to see me as a weak and pretty little thing.

are all eating disorders caused be the fear of being alone? i dont know.

i need things to say to deny food

comment reply time fro 2 posts.

@ peanut :)

500 calories is still good at least you didn't binge.

@ DolceCaramel

thanks for fallowing my blog i hope it tickles your fancy lol

@ peanut :)

i only remember 1 successful day... thats sad. Ugh I need to try harder.

@ Fiesty Fiend

perhaps i should consider a career as a heart surgeon. lol

lol thank you guys for reading my blog and commenting :)

im gunna go get a pickle ill tweet later or something.

love,

Henrietta

I failed

I'm fat. Does my brain not get it im fat i need to stay empty to get thin ugh i want to scream!!!! whats wrong with me its starving not open heart surgery

Spiders

Guess who gained for pound in 2 days?!?!?! Me and now im freaking out thats it liquid fast until thanksgiving. Anyone want to join me?

I'll walk three miles with my dog and do 5 crunches and push-ups for every calorie i over eat.

i'm freaking out i want to cry and pull out my hair and throw up my empty stomach and then curl up in a ball outside in the cold. (i'm fucking crazy)

i didn't have a food dream last night i had something worse....

Did I tell you guys i'm a huge arachnophobe? i hate spiders i don't care how graceful or misunderstood they those things are evil creatures from hell.

The dream went like this,

I was running around and there were spiders crawling down from webs in the ceiling and falling down on me landing in my hair they were every where in my room on the stairs....everywhere....

then.....I woke up....and closed my eyes and fell alseep again....

this time i was in the kitchen and the things were there too they were every where. I tried to run out but there spiders blocking the door way in a web and i ran through and got tangled up.

I woke up breathing hard and crying. i didn't want to sleep again and see those evil creature again i don't know the horrors that await in my sleep. Eventually i fell asleep but this time it was dreamless sleep.

I just freaked out that a fly came near me ugh...Nightmares...

I looked up some stuff to see if maybe i could figure out what the dream meant but too much happened. heres the website i went to http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=spider.

On a better note, i made a play list :) for blogger. Every week i'm gunna make one a different artist this week its metric. I wont tell you next weeks its a surprise.

music thinspo

Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeah

Emily Haines for metric

regular thinspo

extreme thispo

okay guys ill send you my love on wire,

Henrietta Gray

ps. comment reply time (i almost forgot)

@peanut :)

probably, all we think of is food

@Avani

I like your blog too and thanks for reading mine.

Holy shit im scared.

im supposed be having sum pumkin pie and a burritto i dont know if i can purge it all up omg if i dont have my parents will notice somethings up...... UGH!!!! ill just use the save it for later excuse.

I hope you guys enjoyed the little video i added to the blog. its just something for you all to enjoy. the song black sheep was also in the scott pilgrim movie.

This morning i woke up panicking becouse i thought i had eaten in my sleep. Ok I know its weird but i think i just had a dream of eating (great foods in my dreams now). Also i had a dream a cupple of nights ago.

here it goes.

I was with a couple of friends by our tree.( Our tree is this tree next to basket ball courts that we hang out at) We were just standing there an this guy comes up to us and we start talking about random crap and then we start talking about his possible crushes and he points out girls he would go out with. he points out a couple of girls and then he points to me and i'm like me "why me ". The guys wasn't cute he just some guy i know than i all of sudden he turns into this guy i like ans says" 'couse your face is cute and your nice everything, if only you were smaller......." then i wake up.

Is this myself trying to tell myself that the fat is whats holding me down? Or is this just a random dream? I know this may seem conceded but one of main motivations is my face i tell my self im not so bad my face deserves a better body. i know right horrible but it helps so yeah i guess it also helps with the idea that if i'm thin ill be perfect. Because if i'm thin but ugly whats the point of being thin right ? So i accept my face but not my body. Oh and i say the fat instead of my fat becouse its not mine its only a temporary parasite feeding on my happiness. :)

Comment reply time

@Charlie

i hope everyone else feels the same and lol about the eated part.

your loving black sheep,

Henrietta

ps. I want to look good in this dress by summer i already bought it.is my motivation.It should arrive in a small this Monday. i got it from Forever 21.

I'm back.(I'm sorry i left)

I know, i know why did i decide to come back?

well i'm a lard ass thats why. same goals as before only this time i'm fatter; I'm at 188 lbs. i really hope you guys will accept me again.

heres how life without blogger went.

i lost 20 lbs

gained 20 lbs

gained 8lbs

was upset

AND THEN I CAME BACK CRAWLING AND BEGGING YOU FOR SUPPORT.

why?

-becouse im pathetic

-becouse im fat

-becouse i cant do it alone.

my goal by the end of this week 181.

ill be eating 800 calories.

Please support me and forgive me for abandoning you guys. :(

love the big ol' tub of lard'

henrietta.

ps. i really missed you guys i just finished catching up

last post ever

Okay well, bye I feel like you guys are overreacting but fine. hey there's other blogs in the sea like this chick's blog what now?.
she's new and i feel bad cuz when kat left i was barely starting to readblogs so you guys should check her out and I will miss y'all. And I'll miss blanch cuz she made up my nick name. so this is goodbye.

i tyhink i might leave. it's not like have a zillion folowers. i'll still lose weight but...idk

bye

bye

you know this if your catholic.
you confess your sins n stuff
this is my conversation with the ana priest.

a.p: where did she go?
Me:who?
a.p:The girl that called you fat and made you starve?


Me:you mean ana? Idk


a.p:don't you miss her?
me: yes 'cause i lost weight with her?
a.p: ya, now your fat again and binging every day.
me:yup.

....

a.p: do you listen to the music?
me: No

a.p:do you listen to the notes?
me: no

a.p:Did you listen to her?
me: no

a.p: I can see why she left.


Me: What's my punishment?
....

a.p run as fast as you can until you puke.
nothing but splenda packets except for dinner just half a can of soup of light progresso then all winter break 2 hours of exercise a day and during your free time. Pinch your fat until it hurts.

me: thats it?

a.p: NO! No other music but thinspo!

Me: Why?!?!?

Ana: Because you have sinned
**evil grin**

new low

160...10 days later...185...WTF


what's your fave light or low cal food? mines light yogurt

What's your weakness? Not food but in life. mines a lot of things

whats your exercise routine? mines 20 leg lifts 30 push ups 40 sit ups 50 squats and 60jumping jacks 30 min on stair climbing machine.

last thing you ate? bag if corn nuts
how many cals? 70
did you share? no
did you throw it up? yes

Whats you fave pro ana site?

please answer these questions.


my meal plan for the weak

Sunday: planned binge
Monday:
breakfast: half cup of raisin bran an 1/4 cup of milk 175cals
lunch: 1 bag of corn nuts 70cals
diner: 1 cup of ravioli 220
total: 465

Tuesday:
same lunch and breakfast 245
dinner: 1 cup of chicken tortilla soup canned 130cal

and repeat

an other ana with a graphic post

I had a BF...then we broke up.


while together I felt pretty and happy with my self.



I went far with him. No.not sex.
I just thought it would be dandy to give this guy head.
I have a little friend who's a tech wiz. She made my blogger profile but she doesn't know about ana.
she's losing weight like crazy. she's only twelve. I'm like a big sis to her.


I asked if she was eating right. She is. and eating alot. :(


Maybe I took my relationship to quickly.


Had we made it to valentines day...let's just say i wouldn't be a virgin...


that goes to show the whore I am.
I feel fat..again.

I feel fat, Dirty And like a bitch.
I bet you guys thought i wasn't this dirty. I don't go around town but I really liked this guy.

my thoughts in random words: head, scale, failing grades, and a dirty fat hoe.



I feel depressed he made me very happy...


What now?

Activia

activia 110

It doesn't hurt me. You wanna feel how it feels? You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?

I love this place and i recommend it for you http://proanalifestyle.blogspot.com

have any of you seen the movie day breakers. I loved it. I'm gonna lose weight lots of it you'l see

No more drama.

Got a mirror in my room. :)

Got apples. :)

Got peanut butter.:(

No more doughnuts... cuz i ate them. :(

Getting a pet rat. :)

I'm going to survive on apple's. : 3

Any one else tired of drama?

I know I am and I'm going on emotion less for as long as I can.

...welcome back numbness

I really like the band placebo you guys should try them out along some of these

Muse
Breathe Carolina
cold war kids
elefant
arctic monkeys
The fratellis
Kasaibian
The riffles


Not thinspo but I thought you'd guys learn a bit about who I am.

NO more drama or lies.

Sitting in front of a mirror is pure pain.

"So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?"

Expect blank things from me.
I won't be pitying people much
I will post.

I won't be human for a while...I'll be some thing else something blank

something dead.. or almost dead.

a floating body a corpse.

A spirit or a demon...

I'm scared

There are doughnuts in the kitchen and I'm scared. I don't want the but my body does

bipolar post

Tue. I realized this semester schedule sucked. but No cooking class!yay!
wed. Wow. i feel energeless. Oh and square dancing the want to take us to 3rd grade again.
thur. great got home purged for the first time in a long time.
fri. binged.

AND TODAY...
clean slate.
And having partner that's shorter than you. is defeminizing. I like my second partner. he's tall he'll turn me when needed. I'm not eating until 2:24

AND I NEED A HUGE FAVOR CAN YOU GUYS WRITE ME POEMS.
I know I have to write 4 by tue but i suck at poetry.
Not about ana please. just about random stuff.
y four poems?1 for each
1. metaphors
2.similes
3.onomatopoeia
4. alliteration

So if you guys are sweet enough please help me I know its cheating. just tell me for which one you wrote for. please help me. the moment he handed out our assignment i wanted to shoot my self.

School is seriously stressing me out. I've seen my guy with tons of other gals it it kills me.
I don't a have fucking scale. it would be nice to my fucking progress!!!!!!!!!!!!! or non progress

I just feel like running in my closet and screaming in to my pillow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


On a happier note(totally bipolar second). my parents are thinking of buying a house in the outskirts of town. Which is great as long as i get to stay at my school. but its also grate cuz it means animal. My brother will get a huge manly dog he wants. And I'll get a cute little king Charles cavalier spaniel.
so... thank for reading my blog guys I love your support and I'll support you.
love, Hannie

she's here

I can feel her, ana. she's deep in me. I want the bliss of being under weight

I'm ignoring ana a little today. not going to binge but i will feast on otter pops
like only 3 or 4 only
only 15 cals each and you burn cals cuz they are frozen

of to school i'll tell y'all later
only a little time for some thinspo

status

my inner status
"As the headache fades, this house is no longer a home,
don't give up on the dream, don't give up, ont he wanting,
and everything that's true.
don't give up on the dream, don't give up on the wanting.."
cause i want you - placebo

I've been gone for a long time

so i went to the beach on Friday. no swimsuit just old jeans it freezing cold
school starts tomorrow. means exercise and no eating till 2:24.
I have to give my cat a bath and convince my parents to let her back in side.
I can give her my food. And if i snack she always wants half of what i eat there for less cals consumed. I also miss her. lol

This is my brightest idea of the year. I'm doing good. But I'm not going to be on here for awhile cuz of my cat project and school. Also i will see my crush (childish I know) and seeing him with his girl will totally make me feel like crap so i won't eat. yay. lol

I thrive on my own self pity.

pic of my cat wouldn't hurt she's not thinspo but hey she's cute












Also what Ana doesn't love twiggy.












lol it looks like my cats looking at twiggy.
stay srong,pro ana and anti food!
xoxhannie

ps. I'm starting to like that. hannie. once again super thanx to BlAnCh

First post of the year.

happy new year.

SO my resolutions.

lose 16 by feb.
lose 95 by sept
lose