If you read this post and comment you get super powers

* disclaimer you probably wont get super powers


Don't you just love it when you start a new diet and you GAIN weight!
current weight: 169.5
short term goal weight : 150
long term goal weight: 95
           FOOD
special k protein shake- 190
granola bar- 150
burrito- 535
popcorn- 113
coke - 65
piece of candy - 32
total- 1082
can you tell which part wasn't planned?

That's right the burrito!
oh well better than a binge

If I get to 130 by Halloween I can go to my friends Halloween party.

Tomorrow will be a rather unstable day but for the most part i'm hoping to do

today I over ate but it's okay because it wasn't a binge. I I'm trying to not be so hard on myself.

since i didn't get comments last time there's no replies :(

love you guys!

Why i hate my friends sometime(hooray more thinspo)

     I'm a generally nice and likable person. So i have quite a few friends. I'm not ms. popularity but there's  never been a class where i didn't know at least one person. There's this girl I m my class who is sporty, pretty, tall, and THIN. She also happens to be my friend AND REALLY NICE. I hate her, shes too "what is wish I was".  When I'm next to her I'm this unattractive, fat, 5'5 ball of ugliness.Then there's this other girl in one of my other classes. She's thin and  gorgeous as well. Not to mention the other 5 million girls on campus better than me.
      I hate my self for gaining and being at 170. I hate myself for having a binge. I want to go up to those girls and ask them how the fuck they do IT. They'd think I'm a creep. The only reason I binged was because my stomach started bugging me and friend was there so we ate and now I want to kill my self....
     I always mess up always I'm a failure.... and ugly fat stupid failure I deserve the shit that happens to me.



you guys are awesome
to Gracereturnsslowly : I have more swim suit pics right here lol
to missinsanity. : Thanks haha now all my worries are gone lol


love you all! 
ps email me or just chat -    just 01ofthosedays@hotmail.com

In case anyone still reads my blog...

Binges suck.

The good thing is I know what I did wrong.

I went too long without food. I now know that if I go too long without eating i get them heartburn pains.

So for tomorrow:

breakfast-

Greek yogurt.......170

small apple.......95

green tea.........32

lunch-

granola bar.........150

water......0

Dinner-

egg roll .....190

soda....100

snack-

4 pieces of gum...20

total 757

I don't have to go too long with food and hopefully I avoid a binge.

I cried this binge because I felt so hopeless and so useless.

Today I heard some guys at the campus cafe talking about their "dream girl".

so the guy looked a bit older a senior or junior. he was still really hot. he starts saying that he likes a littler girl.

I don't know if he meant you, thin, or short. Then he said he wanted the girl to be smaller than him. That's not me... I'm going to be lonely and fat forever...

love you guys i hope you reach your goals.

haha oh black swimsuits
ps. how is it that theres 2 comments and blogger only marks one view count?

Funzies is a real word.....according to me

yesterday I went ahead and binged on barbecue chips and a bunch of other crap.

I don't know whats wrong with my stomach but it's been heartburn-y. Yeah, it kinda bugs me.

In other news I've started my period! Hooray! oh I just love going to bed late because of cramps and waking up early because of cramps! For some unknown bitch reason my period sucks even more this time, these cramps are really bad.

Just for funzies I'm gonna make my calorie goal 800 just to ease into this. Its way to early to leave for school. So I'm going to weigh myself right now.

cw=168lbs

sgw= 160lbs

ugw= 90lbs

height = 5'5 ft

so.. not the weight i wanted but its better than nothing! wait... that's not better than nothing!! lol that doesn't even make sense oh well i'm gonna go shower and get ready for school. I'll see later.. maybe, if I have the time and energy.

good bye my dears and have wonderful day I hope you meet all your goals whether your in recovery or still trying to lose weight.

stay young and shit...

apologies and closet conquests.

I have the worst heartburn right now.

I have a huge pile of work to do.

the reason I'd been gone is because i lost my password for my email account and i couldn't log in. I don't use the email for this account anymore so sorry but I've caught up with almost everything. I'm sorry to say that I've gained weight while i was gone.

Good news is I'm back and I'm starting something called "closet conquest".

Closet conquest is about wearing things that you don't necessarily feel comfortable wearing or that you've only worn once. It's a lie to say there's nothing in your closet that you need to wear. Maybe a shirt in and odd color or a dress that is too formal for everyday but to casual for most events or even just a pair of jeans that are a little too tight.

so i went through my closet and found quite a few things.

I've organized them from easiest to wear to hardest.

1. the awesome floral skirt my aunt made for me (i wore it already so I can check it off my list)

2. the blue dress I wore to my cousins wedding (when i lose 5 pounds)

3. The creamy beige dress I wore to my aunts birthday party (when I lose 20 lbs)

4. The black tee shirt i got for my birthday. (30lbs)

5.the black dress I wore to my other cousins wedding (40 lbs)

6. the grey and white dress my aunt bought for me. (60 lbs)

7. the ridiculousness soft pink sweat pants (65 lbs)

8. the brown shorts (60 lbs)

9. the shirt i bought with my mother a while ago (50lbs)

I wore the floral skirt with a long sleeve top and it looked like a dress but i felt exposed and uncomfortable so this challenge will be motivation to look good in these things

to day i didn't count calories but I'm over budget anyways.

weight= 160

height= 5'5

short term goal = 155

good night my skinny dears and have sweet dreams.